Oh, I was born, one night, one morn
When the whistle went toot-toot (toot-toot!)
You can’t bake steak or fry a cake
When the mud pies are in bloom
Does six and six make nine?
Does ice grow on a vine?
Is old man Joe an Eskimo
In the good old summertime?
Oh, loop-de-loop in the noodle soup
Just to give my socks a shine
I’m guilty fudge, I ate the judge
Three cheers for Auld Lang Syne
I cannot tell a lie
I hucked an apple pie
It’s in a tree, beneath the sea
Above the big blue sky
Oh, if Easter eggs don’t wash their legs
Their children will have ducks (quack! quack!)
I’d rather buy a lemon pie
For forty-seven bucks (no way!)
Way down in Barceonlia
I fell into the foamia
And this is all bolognia
Paderusky blow your horn (toot-toot!)