Props List:
• Stick (light and safe for stage combat)
• Military-style hat for the General (optional)
Cast List:
• General – A strict, over-the-top drill sergeant type.
• Recruit 1-X – A line of nervous recruits, each with their own excuse.
• Last Recruit – The unfortunate sneezer.
Description:
At a military recruitment barracks, the no-nonsense General is inspecting a line of recruits when an unexpected sneeze disrupts the order. Determined to find the culprit, the General interrogates each recruit one by one, leading to dramatic denials, exaggerated excuses, and comedic overreactions. The tension builds until the last recruit confesses—only to receive an unexpected twist.
Script:
(Scene opens with recruits standing at attention in a straight line. The General paces back and forth, inspecting them.)
(Suddenly, the last recruit in line sneezes loudly.)
General: (snapping to attention) Who sneezed?!
(He marches up to the first recruit.)
General: Did YOU sneeze?
Recruit 1: No, sir! I was tying my shoe!
(General, without hesitation, taps the recruit with the stick. The recruit dramatically collapses to the ground.)
General: Weak ankles, huh? Pathetic!
(He moves to the next recruit.)
General: Was it YOU?!
Recruit 2: No, sir! I was scratching my ear!
(Same routine—the General taps them, and they collapse.)
General: Scratching? Disgraceful!
(The pattern continues—each recruit gives an absurd excuse, gets “struck,” and falls. Some ideas for variation: checking a watch, fixing a belt, stretching, or “practicing my blink.”)
(Finally, the General reaches the last recruit, the obvious culprit.)
General: Well? Did YOU sneeze?!
Last Recruit: …Yes, sir.
(The General glares, leans in close… then suddenly softens.)
General: Gesundheit!
(He calmly pats the recruit on the shoulder and marches off, leaving the fallen recruits groaning on the ground.)
END SCENE.
Notes for Performance:
• The humor relies on exaggeration—big reactions, dramatic falls, and varied excuses will sell the skit.
• The General’s unpredictable nature (going from aggressive to polite) makes the punchline land effectively.
• Timing is key! Each interaction should build suspense, making the final reveal funnier.