Props List:
• Sunglasses (optional, for added attitude)
• Loose change, fake money, or small items that can fall out of pockets
• A whistle or sound effect for the narrator’s “Stop!” cue
Cast List:
• Narrator – Sets the scene and controls time
• Walker 1 – Large, tough, full of attitude
• Walker 2 – Equally large, equally tough, equally full of attitude
Script:
(Lights up. Narrator steps forward, arms crossed, shaking their head.)
Narrator: Welcome to the Streets of New Jersey. A place where dreams are made… and personal space is violated.
(Enter Walker 1 from stage left and Walker 2 from stage right. They stroll confidently toward each other, hands in pockets, tough expressions on their faces.)
(Midway across the stage, they lightly bump shoulders.)
Walker 1: Hey! Watch where you’re walkin’!
Walker 2: Hey! I’m walkin’ here!
(Both dramatically stop and glare at each other for an uncomfortable moment before continuing their walk offstage.)
Narrator: Wait, wait, wait! Something doesn’t feel right. Let’s rewind and see that again.
(Walkers act like they’re in rewind, walking backward in exaggerated choppy motions, making rewind sound effects if possible.)
Narrator: Now, let’s play that in… slow motion.
(Walkers start walking toward each other again, but in slow motion. When they reach the same spot, they bump shoulders harder this time.)
Walker 1 (slow motion): Hheeeeyyyy… waaaaaaatch whheerrreee yoouuuuu’rrreee waaaalllkkiiinnnn’!
Walker 2 (slow motion): Hhhheeeeeeyyyy… IIII’mmmm… waaaaaalllkkiiinnnn’… hhheeeeeeerrrreeee!
(Instead of moving on, they now turn toward each other, fists clenching, still moving in slow motion.)
Walker 1 (slow motion, exaggerated): Yoooooouuuu bummmmmped meeeeee!
Walker 2 (slow motion, exaggerated): Yoooooouuuu werrrrrrre innnnn mmyyyyy wwaaaaaayyyyy!
(They now engage in the most dramatic slow-motion fight scene ever, throwing punches that miss by a mile, dodging in over-exaggerated ways, grabbing each other’s collars and pretending to throw each other around like action heroes. They grunt in slow motion, overact wildly, and maybe even throw in a ridiculous slow-motion slap.)
(At some point, one of them reaches into the other’s pocket and slowly pulls out fake money, a wallet, or some loose change, dropping it to the ground dramatically.)
Narrator (deadpan): This… is a normal Tuesday in New Jersey.
(Eventually, both walkers “land” their final slow-motion blows, dramatically stumble backward, nod to each other respectfully, then collect the fallen money and valuables before continuing to walk offstage like nothing happened.)
END SCENE.